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Saturday, July 28, 2007

Strange how people can be easily appeased by superficial means. And it's not like as though things will fall back in place once and for all coz the source of conflict would start acting up again once the realization dawns upon that power is within the source of conflict's hands. So those who take on the material offerings are absolutely stupid and plainly deceived. Really, I find this disgusting. It's like we are treated like a whole bunch of DOGS. You throw a bone, tell us to run and fetch it, then you give us a treat. GOOD DOGGIE. And if we do not do as instructed, that's it, no form of reasoning could ever save us from your unrelentless hell.

So I discarded the material offering. And when I looked around me, I have to wonder. Why do I have to be so unforgiving? Everybodyelse do not seems to be holding any grudges. And come to think of it, some of them actually received a greater deal of blows as compared to me. Well, I choose to think I'm different. While everyodyelse can just brush away any form of negativities done unto them by other people, I choose to keep it within me. As accumulated weapons to spur further vengeance perhaps. Or just a means to keep my distance so that I won't get myself hurt directly.

It is the latter actually. I've had so many run in with people from the same group, I can't take it anymore. Truth be told, these are the people whom I never wanna doubt. These are the people whom I know, are never out to harm. But I've been proven otherwise so many times, and at varying stages of my life that is. I've lost faith in them. The sad thing is, 'them' makes up just a few but I ended up not being all too trusting towards anybody from the same background as 'them'. And that does not justify everything at all.

Sometimes I wish I could easily let anything bad that has ever happened to me, erased from my mind for good. But I can't seems to muster enough effort on my part to do so. Point in time when I think that my life is going on a smooth sail, some parts of the negativities will start to make its appearance in my mind. How do I let go? How do I convince myself that being forgiving is the best way to get myself away from getting negative flashbacks? The thing is, forgiving is easy. But how do I ever forget?


Drifted Away @ 2:17 PM