<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/38336922?origin\x3dhttps://funkyballpointpens.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Monday, August 13, 2007

My head's been throbbing ever since history lesson ended. Coz my teacher came up with the most "brilliant" idea on how to make me improve on that subject. That is to pair up the weaker students with the brighter ones.

AND I FELL FLAT INTO A TRAP.

Don't get me wrong, there's no sort of ill-feelings from me towards my partner. The problem being, I sucked at history, and I can't deal one-to-one with a guy. That's what is getting me sooo screwed up right now. And the whole negative crap is working a cyclone in my head, it can just combust anytime soon. I wanted to sleep it off, really. The headache was overbearing that I fell asleep during Malay Literature and GP consultation. Yet I'm not feeling any better.

See, I've never had the guts to talk to guys for some major reasons I do not wish to disclose. And it has apparently morphed into an inevitable fear which I'd rather run away from than deal with it. So really, this whole thing is nothing new. I've put up with it for years! And I learnt how to evade when the situation calls for it. But now as expected, the skeletons are threatening to burst out from the closet. And I don't know how to deal. Honestly, it's been a long while and now is just not the right time for my demons to catch up with me.

How am I gonna get through tomorrow? The session today is bad enough. Like I know nuts about New Imperialism. Or maybe I do know something, it's just that I couldn't muster enough willpower to verbalize them. So he came up with practically the whole drift for the particular question we had to do. I feel dumb enough already and this is making me feel even worse. Just when I'm about to pick myself up. I can never ever redeem all my shortcomings. It's getting so out of hand.


Drifted Away @ 6:26 PM