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Saturday, September 29, 2007

I guess my main blog will be going on a permanent shutdown all because of some ugly circumstances. I do realize it is a sort of petty issue that got me raging. But still, I do believe I deserve a certain amount of respect. I do not make it a point to bug others so that should have been my saving grace, to at least prevent myself from being taken for granted. Well, human connectivity fails me from time to time. I tend to think that being delusional is far better than getting in touch with reality. And the whole thing just brought about major injustice in my life. That will morph into another dramatic issue altogether and I don't quite wanna talk about it.

Guess what? It's barely a month before the actual examinations take off. I am not even close to making any progress. Much less have the motivation to push myself on this very last lap. I can only rely on my ever optimistic mind, and that would have probably gone against what I've just stated. Optimism is indeed a form of motivation. But my kind of optimism is extemely suicidal. Like I could be scoring twenty-something for my exam overall and yet I keep telling myself there's more than enough time to catch up? Reality check, there's barely a month left and twenty-something marks means that I've about 80% of my work to catch up on and that constitutes three years worth of work to stomach in. There you go, I think I fail to understand my kind of optimism much.

Fasting month is nearing its end and I do feel a little upset. Firstly, I don't think I've fulfilled my obligations and responsibilities. I am just too ignorant to care. At that, I do not want Ramadhan to leave just yet coz I know that the upcoming months after that is gonna make me an even worse person. I am that weak. Nonetheless I do have the last few days remaining to try and do something worthwhile to redeem myself.


Drifted Away @ 4:32 PM